39 weeks | baby bink 2

I wasn't sure we would make it around to taking this picture, but here we are, littlest one. 39 weeks and nearly August. Uncle Zach's birthday is today, so if you wanted to get motivated and make your appearance you'd have yourself a top notch birthday twin. Just saying (:

Regardless, I'm just here trying to rest, get comfortable [somehow, anyhow] and sift through all of the emotions going on. It feels like it has been a long wait for you. In so many ways that is an unfair weight to displace on you because I know there are plenty of emotions tethered to this pregnancy and our journey together so far from the miscarriage we endured before you. I didn't intend for them to be there and have tried not to dwell on them, but now as we near the end of this race I just feel like there must have been a few extra miles that had to be run back there somewhere. I feel exhausted from them, [those displaced emotions] and at the same time that you are the one actually draining me physically as we speak, you are also the one helping to uplift me in ways my heart has very much needed all this time. The hope and expectation of you - the one created and sustained by God that is about to join our little family - is a gift I will savor and never forget. I choose exactly you, sweet babe. I cannot wait to meet you and be your Mama. 

So come whenever you are ready. Our hearts are already full of love for you - it is just our arms waiting now!

37 weeks | baby bink 2

After a little unforeseen hospitalization last week for this oh.so.pregnant mama, we have been officially reset to hunker down, rest up the best we can and play our best waiting game. Of course, we are so thankful that everything settled down, that my OB team has ruled out any big concerns and that we can return to the expectation that things can progress normally and smoothly again from here on out. 

And as if I needed any help in the overly emotional department; I have been sent to new heights! Clingy to Michael, clingy to Wren. They're coping fairly well and have seriously buddied up in a true effort to stay sane I'm sure. But as a true nod to the intricacies of a mother's heart, at the very same time I'm fostering such deep [and surely hormonally fueled] feelings over my current little crew, I'm so very eager to deliver, meet, welcome and love on this new babe. Also, I'm so glad that all of that sweet baby goodness that we've enjoyed as it has come and gone with Wren we soon get to repeat and savor with our new littlest love.

So here's to the gift that we are to behold. I'll wait if I have to, but I cannot wait (:
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35 weeks | baby bink 2

We are getting so close to meeting you, sweet babe, as I expect you'll have a July birthday...although I'm happy to wait until you are good and ready. But to be true to myself, let it be documented that I am officially over being pregnant and oh.so.eager to meet you! 

We have squeezed in trips and days off with Daddy here and there, during which we always smile at Wren asking if "the baby" will be doing this with us soon. Yep, you'll be in tow with us in no time and as we talk her through what that may look like, we just look forward to that so much!

Here's to the weekly OB appointments, back aches, waves of hormones, nursery organization (with big sister Wren as the sweetest little helper) and endless conversations over you that separate us from the moment we become a family of four!

32 weeks | baby bink 2

The countdown is nearly on at this point. Not really you-could-come-any-minute style, but rather I-have-a-toddler-and-I'm-pregnant-so-time-is-relative style. Truly, I feel like I have blinked twice and here we are in single digits. But beyond the physics of it all, we remain in awe of the blessing of you, sweet Bink babe. Your time inside my womb so far has been restorative for the soul of our little family (especially mine) and I have a hunch that we will forever benefit from the perspective and truth we have been made privy to on our journey towards you. Although it is true still, that I am 0-2 in terms of feeling all perfectly glowy and blissful about pregnancy, but I promise that my heart has been so glad.

Just recently, my best girls have all showered you so sweetly. You are already so loved by such a special village! And we talk about you constantly these days! Daddy and I have been telling Wren all about becoming a big sister and all the ways she can help to welcome you home with us soon. She doesn't particularly like that you won't be able to actually talk right away, but I'm sure with her help you will be gabbing like the rest of us before too terribly long!

Tomorrow we head to the beach for our last hoorah as a family of three and while we are excited to impress upon our hearts the last few ounces of the sweetness that is this stage, we really.can't.wait until you're adventuring right along with us! There's a spot saved just for you, my littlest one.
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28 weeks | baby bink 2

Bink babe, our excitement and anticipation over you is growing by the day! We have rounded the corner to the last trimester and I spend a lot of my daydreams wondering what you will be like and the moment we will get to meet. I'm trying to get pumped about laboring again, but ain't that life. At least this time I'm no stranger to the immeasurable joy the moment it is all over and I know you are going to double my heart that very instant in much the same way your sister burst it wide open. 

Everyone has been asking what we think you'll be - boy or girl. Honestly, I think we'll be surprised if you're a girl come delivery day. But our hunches were wrong round one so we're steadfast in maintaining our neutral ground. I will be so thrilled either way! 

With a quick trip to the attic for the old carseat and a load of laundry we could nearly be ready for you (as far as this mama of one knows - ha! I'm sure new essentials will make themselves known very quickly), so we're spending our time praying for your health and development and for our family rhythm to flex so you can ease right on in. 

We love you so much and sure hope you don't mind continuing to hear the infamous watermelon story from Wren at bedtime every.single.day until we meet (; 

24 weeks | baby bink 2

24 weeks and bumping right along. Sweet littlest babe, we are in so much wonderment over you! Boy or girl; early or late; wild or laid back or a little of both like your big sister, Wren? We simply cannot wait to see how you will fulfill your special place in our family. 

I've been mulling over a few things lately as plenty has been different this second time around. Most pertinent is that you'll get to have 30 year old parents with a little bit of season behind them. Hopefully that will prove in your benefit and you'll develop your own allowance of grace with us as our hearts grow bigger and we learn to stretch and pour ourselves out farther and wider. In some ways I can already feel that you are going to calm us down and keep us locked in on the simple joys of the present instead of tending to hold our gaze on the "just beyond." I already appreciate that about you. 

We love you to pieces and rest knowing that the promises remembered this Easter weekend of our Savior defeating death, offering Himself for us all already applies to you in the womb. And that your sweet Daddy, that we also celebrate this weekend for his 30th birthday, already loves you, provides for you and honors you by who he is and always strives to be. See...you already have our gaze on the important things (: 

20 weeks | baby bink 2

Halfway through this pregnancy. I can hardly believe it! A giant PTL (PRAISE THE LORD!) for a perfectly healthy 20 week anatomy scan this week. And we stuck to our guns with not finding out the gender in order to enjoy another big surprise on delivery day as we did with Wren. It was just too.much.fun!

And even more to celebrate...Michael, Wren and I are getting back to our little family rhythm again now that I'm feeling well and more energized - time I'm so grateful for as we are being very mindful of soaking up sweet time with Wren [the only child version]. 

Sweet babe, I'm so in awe of the miracle that you already are! You have restored a joy and hope in us that we will fight to never let go of again. A blessing I am now reminded of every time that I feel you kick around (finally! An anterior placenta position this time around kept me on my toes waiting a little longer than I expected to). And some of my most favorite family moments have included you already - talking to you in my belly as we tuck Wren into bed each night. She is so eager to meet you and constantly tells you that "bunnies are her favorite; she likes purple (sometimes pink, sometimes green like Mama); and that she will help you pet all of the animals, plant seeds in the garden, hike to waterfalls and climb up into the treehouse." 

We prayerfully anticipate you joining us this summer! All of our love, littlest one.

16 weeks | baby bink 2

I am finally feeling less nauseous and constantly sick which is a luxury I have apparently traded with that of fitting into my normal clothes. My heart is glad to do it though. It is funny how it's no less miraculous this second round. 

We are staying busy in preparations for you - they just look a little different than last time. Wren has been settled into her big girl room since last summer, so the nursery is simply your very first hand-me-down. First of many I'm sure. But don't worry, we will be busy working on preparations like potty training and good (better) sleep habits for Wren so she can just enjoy being a new big sister once you come home. We're not going to concern ourselves with much else - just getting excited to meet you and love you! 

12 weeks | baby bink 2

12 weeks somehow snuck by me before a reminder from a sweet friend got me started on bump progress pictures this second time around. Between chasing a wild toddler and being oh.so.sick (totally different than with Wren) I'll be trying my best to keep up with these. 

But we're no less excited for you, sweet babe. After a trying loss last year, we are confident that God needed us to learn and stretch and grow and that He just had you especially in mind for our family. We pray you continue to grow steadily and in perfect health all along the way. We love you and cannot wait to meet you!

Welcome, Wren Mikaela [our sweet, sweet little bird]

In the most special way, my mother once told me that a daughter is simply her mother's heart walking around outside of her chest. On September 14th, 2014 at exactly 1:30am, after 21 hours of labor, I came to know and understand this truth. Abruptly and all at once. 

And since that moment that little hand found mine life has begun to pass by so quickly. Too fast for my heart to keep up, I can already recognize that. It's almost funny how magnified life seems now. Sure, messes are messier, days and nights (oh, the nights) are busier. Honestly, our house somehow just now seems to be truly lived in. But my heart, forever tendered, now holds a joy that far exceeds any capacity it has ever known. My truth. 

Another note from my mother's book - parenthood means you are no longer your own person. Sure, our children belong to us, but really we belong to them. And I've certainly learned the raw truth of that, too. You take the tasks as they come, sometimes with your best, loving attitude, full of God-given patience; sometimes as the tired and weary, new (and often clueless) parent that you are. Somehow you build your confidence and feel a surge of pride as needs are met and this new, precious life is further sustained. 

Right now, Wren wants us, needs us and later will seek us out for such things. No matter how unequipped I may feel from time to time, I just pray she never doubts that her daddy and I will forever be available. At the least, always, always, always available. Every.moment.forward. 

Welcome to our family, Wren Mikaela! And thank you for appeasing your sappy mush of a mama and arriving when you did...the day I had a hunch that you would, on your big brother Sully's birthday! I'm going to have fun with that year after year after year. 

37 weeks

I think it's safe to say we officially feel like part of the waiting game. Honestly, I had such a moment the other day in Publix when I bought a carton of milk that had an expiration date past that of our baby's due date! 

We greatly appreciate your prayers during this final "push" (no pun intended) towards parenthood and please know that we are so deeply thankful for all of the love, support and encouragement we've already received along the way. Mike and I cannot wait to introduce our little one to y'all very soon!

35 weeks

This pregnancy is certainly closing in on the end...like it wouldn't hurt to do a load of baby laundry, pack our hospital bag and seriously soak up our last handful of just-the-two-of-us moments kind of end. What the what?! Please don't be surprised if I hit y'all with an overly emotional, surely hormonally driven ode to my Michael here soon because that last thought can catch me right in the throat if I settle on it too long. But don't get me wrong - we are so very happy to be adding our little love to the mix! With great anticipation, little one, we spend our days dreaming of meeting you soon!

32 weeks

Only 8-ish weeks left, y'all! Come 8-ish weeks and let me tell you - I am so looking forward to being able to comfortably wash my own toes and give Sully the daily belly rub he deserves...to take a full, deep breath and sleep without a pillow between my knees...to pick up heavy things and enjoy the freedom and ease of my normal wardrobe...to eat a full meal without literally feeling stuffed and finally, to enjoy one inaugural ice cold beer to kick off summer a little late.

But of course most of all I'm looking forward to that sweetest, climactic moment when we finally meet our Baby Bink face-to-face! To know which we'll be raising, a boy or a girl. To see my Michael become a dad and begin the adventure of parenthood together. I already have a feeling that nothing quite compares!

30 weeks

Startin' to feel more like a countdown, folks! With just 10 weeks to go, I'm starting to wonder how much more squished my insides can get, but I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. Glory, glory. But as long as our Baby Bink is comfortable, I'm happy to host the growth (: 

27 weeks

Well hello, third trimester! You've greeted me with open arms.....and by open arms I mean a new inability to sleep, tie my shoes, eat too much in one sitting or squeeze into my previous wardrobe without some form of discomfort. Oh, and a belly that grows by.the.day. But you're here which means our Baby Bink will be here soon and that means you are welcome with my wide open arms!

23 weeks

Our little wiggle worm seems to be growing everyday...which in turn means I grow by.the.day. 

Honestly, getting bigger is a little taxing mentally and emotionally mostly because it is the opposite direction of how I'm wired, as a woman, to want to go. I suppose that's it. But when clothes aren't fitting and I leave the house feeling bulky in clothes I'd rather not have had to buy, I feel a flutter. And each of those precious little kicks or nudges reminds me of what is in store along this journey. They are my sweet connection of what is to come. 

I'm thankful for the lessons that are already being taught. That selflessness is a requirement and I've got a long way to go, but there's always sufficient grace to be had during the learning curve. And thank God for the learning curve!

20 weeks

Here we are at 20 weeks. Officially half baked, folks! We thoroughly enjoyed seeing our sweet babe at our anatomy ultrasound and were so glad that the gender secret successfully remained intact. Baby Bink is quite an active little one (even though I still can't feel a thing) and evidently loves to use my bladder as a pillow.

Michael and I are so thankful that everything checked out normal and perfectly healthy! September, you're welcome to hurry up if you want to (:

A little catch up progression

 6 weeks

 9 weeks

 12 weeks

14 weeks

Bumpin' right along (: